William Shakespeare Helps Me Rail On The Devil

shakespeare mug

In April, my husband and I made a trip to Illinois where he would be preaching a meeting for a pastor friend of ours. Before we went to be with this good pastor and his wife, we were able to take a day and visit with my youngest brother and his family who live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My husband, who is a coffee lover, was served his beverage in a mug that looks exactly like the one above. We both thought it was amusing and even took a picture of it to share with our two grown children who were not able to come with us on the trip. Since I knew my husband really found this mug amusing, I was able to find one online, order it and give it to him for a belated birthday present.

One day when I was thinking about Mr. Shakespeare and his winning way with words, I thought it might be interesting to use my imagination and pair up with him to write a scathing rant against the devil. Below is what I came up with. I look forward to the day when the enemy of my soul is forever vanquished!

(Shakespeare’s writing is in bold print)

I hate you with perfect hatred.
You’re the father of all lies;
the absolute embodiment
of everything I despise.
Thoroughly I’m convinced.
I’m a bona fide believer.
My words will not be minced.
You’re a charlatan, the worst deceiver.
I can’t be scathing enough, I fear,
so I call on a voice from the past.
Do you remember a bard by the name of Shakespeare?
He’s about to give you a blast.

Thou droning base-court clack-dish.
Thou wayward elf-skinned scut.
That we’d be better strangers is my wish
as to to chase I cut.
O Gull! O Dolt! As ignorant as dirt,
canker blossom, quintessence of dust,
I truly hope my words do hurt.
They will. I fully trust.
Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile.
You are as a candle, the better burnt out,
incessant n’er do well, so vile.
Thou yeasty beef witted lout.

Anointed cherub in heaven were you
till your heart was lifted up in pride.
God kicked you down to the earth, yes it’s true
on the very first drop zone-like ride.
You became the prince of the power of the air
and set out to hoodwink mankind.
Daily it is your wicked prayer
that humans stay spiritually blind.
I feel for you such abhorrent disgust.
I wish you the worst of ill will.
Defer to my dear writing partner, I must.
Go ahead.  Take it away, Bill!

There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune,
wither’d like an old apple-john.
Thou brazen lily livered cream faced loon.
methinks thou personifies con.
Mountain of mad flesh, light of brain,
Thou jarring milk-livered codpiece.
Of your crusty batch of nature, I do complain
Your foolish wit, O will it never cease?
Out you baggage! You tallow face!
Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.
Thou haughty onion-eyed, peevish disgrace.
Thou speakest false. Sick am I of thy lies.

Yes, you’ve wreaked havoc on the earth,
but your disinformative dupery will end.
You’ll come to rue the day of your birth.
None, your dark hide will defend.
I now remind you what’s in the back of the Book,
since God’s Word you have chosen to ignore.
Let your cowardly eyes just take a look
at where you’ll be landing forevermore.
Your rebellious form will be cast down,
and the beguilement business expire.
Many will look narrowly with approving frown
as your thrown into red lake of fire.
5/16/18

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