William Shakespeare Helps Me Rail On The Devil

shakespeare mug

In April, my husband and I made a trip to Illinois where he would be preaching a meeting for a pastor friend of ours. Before we went to be with this good pastor and his wife, we were able to take a day and visit with my youngest brother and his family who live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My husband, who is a coffee lover, was served his beverage in a mug that looks exactly like the one above. We both thought it was amusing and even took a picture of it to share with our two grown children who were not able to come with us on the trip. Since I knew my husband really found this mug amusing, I was able to find one online, order it and give it to him for a belated birthday present.

One day when I was thinking about Mr. Shakespeare and his winning way with words, I thought it might be interesting to use my imagination and pair up with him to write a scathing rant against the devil. Below is what I came up with. I look forward to the day when the enemy of my soul is forever vanquished!

(Shakespeare’s writing is in bold print)

I hate you with perfect hatred.
You’re the father of all lies;
the absolute embodiment
of everything I despise.
Thoroughly I’m convinced.
I’m a bona fide believer.
My words will not be minced.
You’re a charlatan, the worst deceiver.
I can’t be scathing enough, I fear,
so I call on a voice from the past.
Do you remember a bard by the name of Shakespeare?
He’s about to give you a blast.

Thou droning base-court clack-dish.
Thou wayward elf-skinned scut.
That we’d be better strangers is my wish
as to to chase I cut.
O Gull! O Dolt! As ignorant as dirt,
canker blossom, quintessence of dust,
I truly hope my words do hurt.
They will. I fully trust.
Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile.
You are as a candle, the better burnt out,
incessant n’er do well, so vile.
Thou yeasty beef witted lout.

Anointed cherub in heaven were you
till your heart was lifted up in pride.
God kicked you down to the earth, yes it’s true
on the very first drop zone-like ride.
You became the prince of the power of the air
and set out to hoodwink mankind.
Daily it is your wicked prayer
that humans stay spiritually blind.
I feel for you such abhorrent disgust.
I wish you the worst of ill will.
Defer to my dear writing partner, I must.
Go ahead.  Take it away, Bill!

There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune,
wither’d like an old apple-john.
Thou brazen lily livered cream faced loon.
methinks thou personifies con.
Mountain of mad flesh, light of brain,
Thou jarring milk-livered codpiece.
Of your crusty batch of nature, I do complain
Your foolish wit, O will it never cease?
Out you baggage! You tallow face!
Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes.
Thou haughty onion-eyed, peevish disgrace.
Thou speakest false. Sick am I of thy lies.

Yes, you’ve wreaked havoc on the earth,
but your disinformative dupery will end.
You’ll come to rue the day of your birth.
None, your dark hide will defend.
I now remind you what’s in the back of the Book,
since God’s Word you have chosen to ignore.
Let your cowardly eyes just take a look
at where you’ll be landing forevermore.
Your rebellious form will be cast down,
and the beguilement business expire.
Many will look narrowly with approving frown
as your thrown into red lake of fire.
5/16/18

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Good Old Folks

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I can’t believe I just called these two fine people old. In reality, Bro. and Sis. Halstead are very young at heart. Bro. Halstead still shouts, runs the aisles and praises God like a much younger man. His worship is sincere and encouraging.

The Halsteads are a very important part of our Kids’ Church program. In the first photo, Bro. Halstead is playing Grandpa Jones, a character in our current quarter of The Real Pentecostals. Both Bro. and Sis. Halstead are wonderful teachers, and I have been amazed at some of the creative ways they have come up with to keep the children engaged and teach them the precious Word of God. Brother Halstead also heads up our outreach department and does a great job inspiring us to reach out to those in our community that have not experienced Acts 2:38 salvation.

In the second photo, they are clowning around at a meal we had recently to break a fast that we did together as a church. Earlier that week, Sis. Halstead had sent a photo to me and another sister from our church of a man devouring some chicken drumsticks. She said that was going to be what she would look like when we broke the fast. Hence, I took this photo to represent that moment. 🙂

This faithful couple has been such a blessing to our church in many ways. Getting older has definitely not stopped them from being faithful and working for God with all of their hearts.  They are living out the following verses.

 

“Those that be planted in the house of the LORD shall flourish in the courts of our God.
They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and flourishing;”

Psalm 92:13,14

Just to clarify, I’m not saying that Bro. and Sis. Halstead are fat. This is talking about abundance or a “spiritual fat” that is a good type of fat.(I sure could use more of that type of fat!) I am thankful today for the great big FAT blessing that Bro. and Sis. Halstead have been to Cornerstone Pentecostal Church!

Mathematical God

math struggle

On my drive to school this morning, I started thinking about  math. Two of my students struggle with math, and I remember it became a real struggle for me in my sophomore year of high school when I was taking Algebra 2. I have found that when I have a task that I don’t particularly enjoy doing(math, housework,etc.)it becomes a little more bearable if I can put God in the middle of it, try to make it fun or do both.

So this line of thinking gave birth to a poem just for fun about God and math. If you are among the percentage of those that are not fond of arithmetic, but you love God and want to go to heaven, this might be for you. 🙂

 

God will add His blessing

when those things we take away

which would cause our feet to stumble

and our hearts to go astray.

 

He multiplies our joys

as our testimony we share.

He always divides our sorrows

when others, our burdens help bear.

 

I’m not sure why I’m writing these words.

Just why have I gone down this path?

English is the subject I love.

I’m not all that fond of math.

 

I know when to Heaven I go,

if by Rapture or my time to die,

many wondrous things I shall behold,

but there will not be Pi in the sky!

3/8/18

How Do You Spell Culinary Bliss With Five Letters?

nanka

Este restaurante es la bomba! The food here is incredibly good, and the service is outstanding. This is my husband’s favorite restaurant, and we actually ended up eating here 5 times during our stay.

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The thing in the middle covered with sauce is a fish called Paiche. This was so delicious! I ate it on my first and second visit to Nanka.

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This is duck with a very rich adobo sauce and two corn tamales. This was absolutely delicious too, but when combined with a lucuma frappucino which I had later in the afternoon and Arroz Thai Con Pollo that I ate it the evening…………………let’s just say that my stomach wasn’t too happy during the night. 🙂

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I had this dish on our last visit to Nanka. It is artichoke stuffed ravioli.

 

If you are ever blessed to go to Lima, Peru, you must go to this restaurante. Es la bomba!

Just What The Doctor Ordered

Our high school Bible class is learning about submission and accountability this week. They were given an assignment by their instructor to write a piece as if they were a doctor giving advice or recommendations to a patient on how to avoid sin in their lives. I know I’m probably weird, but when I was in school, I loved assignments such as this one. I still do, and so I thought I’d give it a try.

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From: Dr. Ounce O. Prevenshun

To: U.B. Carnal

Doctors Recommendations on How to Avoid Sin

 

The detailed instructions given below if followed, will aid the patient in abstaining from sin.

 

The DO’s

1.       DO have a regular time of prayer each day. Think of prayer as a daily vitamin, vitamin P (See I Thessalonians 5:17, Luke 22:40, Luke 18:1, Ephesians 6:18, Mk. 14:38)

2.       DO read your Bible each day. Think of it as your daily dose of vitamin B. Work on committing some Scriptures to memory, which can help you in times of temptation. (See Psalm 119:11, 2 Timothy 3:15, Proverbs 30:5,Matthew 4:4)

3.       DO make it a priority to be faithful in attending the house of God. (See Hebrews 10:23-26, Psalm 122:1)

4.       DO be submitted to the man of God in your life, aka your pastor. He is watching out for you. (See Hebrews 13:17, Jeremiah 3:15)

5.       DO fast on a regular basis. (Isaiah 58:6). It’s a way of saying no to your flesh, and when it’s coupled with prayer, it will help you draw closer to God. If you have a physical condition that prevents you from fasting, consider fasting an activity you enjoy (electronic games, Internet, going to WalMart, etc.) and spending that time in prayer.

The DON’TS

1.       DON’T put yourself into a place or a position where you know you could be tempted. This is also known as “not making provision for the flesh.” (For example: If you have struggled in the past with drinking alcohol, don’t go to a bar if you want some 7UP.)Even if you stay full of the Holy Ghost, remember this. Your flesh is weaker than you think!( See Romans 8:13, 13:14, Matthew 26:41)

2.       DON’T be lazy or allow yourself too much idle time. (See Proverbs 18:15) You’ve probably heard the saying, “An idle mind is the devil’s playground.” It’s true.  Stay busy with the things of God and working for His kingdom, and you will be less likely to sin.(See also Ecclesiastes 10:18, Proverbs 12:24, Hebrews 6:12)

3.       DON’T let your close friends be those who are not striving to live a godly lifestyle. They can lead you astray. (See I Corinthians 15:33, Exodus 23:2, James 4:4)

 

These recommendations, if followed, will aid you in your endeavors to avoid sin. Choosing not to follow the above instructions can result in a serious heart condition which would require major surgery that is costly. If this be the case, you would be referred to Dr. Pounda Cure, but it is strongly urged that you heed the advice of Dr. Ounce O. Prevenshun.

Friday Floody

It’s Friday, and it has been windy and very rainy on and off this week. Since I have nothing profound to say(Actually, do I ever have something profound to say?)and in honor of our flood like conditions here, I will share a little poem I wrote for fun a few months ago. I’m sure our rainstorms here are nothing compared to what Noah must have seen.

 

Mini Monoverse Story of Noah’s Ark

 

World’s dark

Noah hark

To embark

Build an ark

Watermark.

 

Some in shock

Others mock

Creatures flock

Door did lock

Floating stock.

 

Gopher wood

Likelihood

It was good

Flood withstood

As it should.

 

Judgment vast

Boat held fast

Rains forecast

Unsurpassed

Cease at last.

 

What a trip

Quick as zip

Depart ship

No more drip

Yeah, hip hip!

 

10/5/16