When You’ve Been There

Several weeks ago, I got a call from a lady who has visited our church on and off for a few months. As soon as she started talking, I knew something was wrong, and she went on to tell me the story of how her 8 month old granddaughter died in her arms.  An autopsy was done later and a cause of death could not be determined. They are considering it SIDS.  My heart broke for her. She was struggling with all the “whys”, battling depression and dealing with feelings of anger toward God for letting it happen. I told her what I felt God wanted me to say at the time, prayed with her over the phone and really encouraged her to be in church the next day. She was in church the next day and cried through much of the service. My husband talked with her quite a bit after service too.  During the next few weeks we did not see her. Every time I called or tried going by her house she wasn’t home. Her daughter who lost the baby lived an hour away, and she was spending a lot of time with her. Although I couldn’t get in touch with her, I tried to make it a point to pray for her often. One of the things I prayed(besides for comfort)was that God would give her a new perspective and help her to see what happened through His eyes.

Last week, she came to church after being gone for a few weeks. During testimony time, she stood up and began to tell how God helped her to break through the darkness that had been surrounding her. The Lord brought the thought to her mind of how Mary must have felt to watch Jesus die on the cross. Although it was a difficult thing for her to endure, it was meant to be. This simple thought has brought her to the place where she is not crying constantly anymore.

Monday night, we had our monthly ladies’ prayer meeting at church. This is where we get together and pray specifically for our children, grandchildren and any other kids we know that need healing, salvation, etc. This lady and her sister came to the prayer meeting.  As we were getting ready to pray, this lady began talking about her granddaughter, how much she missed her and how it was still hard for her. Then the leader of our prayer group began to share something with this lady that she had been through. She had lost a child herself, something that I did not know. She began to share some of the things she went through, walking away from God, drinking, almost losing her marriage, etc. As she was talking another one of our ladies who was a little late came in and sat down and started listening to the conversation. When things got quiet, she too began to share how she had a grandson who died when he was 8 months old and all that she went through. I was so proud of these two ladies that had “been there” and allowed God to use them to help this other lady.  By the time we were through talking, praying, crying, laughing(yes, we even laughed some!)and having a snack together, I know this woman went home with a lighter heart.

I said all that to say that sometimes we go through things that are difficult, and we may wonder if we’re going to make it through or why God has allowed the thing to happen. If we’ll hold onto God and not allow our hearts to be overcome with doubt or bitterness, I believe God will one day bring us to the place where we can help someone else, because “we’ve been there.”

Although the death of this little girl has been difficult, God has already brought to pass 3 miracles.  3 infants were in need of heart surgeries to save their lives. The mother of the little girl who passed away was approached about organ donation, and first said no, but after some time and consideration, changed her no to a yes. All 3 of these infants came through their surgeries and are doing fine. Who knows what special plans God might have for these children.

Romans 8:28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.



Update: October 11th – I just read a beautiful post written by blogger friend Karen that deals with this same subject. It’s amazing that we both posted about this on the same day. I encourage you to stop by and read Karen’s post. It’s well worth your time. Here is the link to it.



3 thoughts on “When You’ve Been There

  1. Amazing how the Lord works. My post for the same day was about loss and grief. Definitely there is something the Lord is trying to reach.
    Hi Karen. I’ll have to check out your post in a bit. Just got back from a mini retreat with my sisters.

  2. It’s true that God works in ways we don’t understand.

    This post was really encouraging. Thanks!

    Hi Martin. Glad you were encouraged by the post. God is definitely much bigger than my little mind can grasp.

  3. I also believe God allows us to be instruments in His hands to help others through difficult times. I recently had a phone call from a lady who is going trhough a tough divorce (something I’ve been through) and I was able share some of the things I learned as I went through mine. God definitely uses us to lift others!

    My heart goes out to those who lost babies. I can’t even imagine what that must be like.

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